Mind and Soul: Despair

"Consider it pure joy, my brothers and sisters, whenever you face trials of many kinds, because you know that the testing of your faith produces perseverance." - James 1:2-3

I could have categorized this post as "personal" because this is something that is very close to my heart, and something that I am currently going through right now in my life. It is a very real, very active battle that we, as humans, will experience at some point in our lives, probably even multiple times. It is something that has the potential to destroy our hope, tear down our courage, and defeat our heart.

And it is:

de·spair

[dih-spair] 

noun

1. loss of hope; hopelessness.

2. someone or something that causes hopelessness

At some point in life, there will come a time of great despair. Maybe the loss of a loved one, or an estrangement from family. It could be the consequences of actions by others that have caused hurt. It could be a betrayal. It could be any number of things, but it will happen. And when it does it will completely cut to the core. 

I experienced this first hand today. I was so wrapped in an utterly lost state of despair, that my chest was physically aching. I was reduced to hysterical sobs unlike anything I have ever experienced. I felt this pressure pushing down on me that I didn't know how to alleviate. All I could do was lay there and pray that God would somehow make the pain go away. 

I was so broken that I didn't even know how to make it better. I made myself get up, splash water on my face, and go run some errands. When I got back, I had the opportunity to share a little bit of what I was feeling with a friend of mine. She reminded me of a verse in James. James 1:2. Be joyful in the face of trials, because it builds steadfastness. 

I had heard the verse before, but I wrote it off. How can someone be joyful in the midst of a trial? It did not make sense until she explained that during times of strife we will feel disheartened, and hopeless, and angry, and hurt, and that it is normal to feel that way. But the joy comes from knowing that while we are in the middle of a storm, if we persevere, our faith will grow stronger and our character will be rooted in strength. The joy comes from knowing that when you come through the storm you will be a better, stronger person.

After talking to her I looked up the verse in James and began to read the surrounding text. What I read, rocked my world. I didn't have to look very far, just to verse three and I was already in awe of God.

"Let perseverance finish its work so that you may be mature and complete, not lacking anything."

It was reading this, that I began to realize that what I was feeling, what I was going through shouldn't be looked at as a burden, but a great gift. Already God has changed me, taught me, and all because of my brokenness. How can I not feel joy, and peace, and contentment when I know that he is using my struggle to shape me and mature my faith. This doesn't mean that I am magically healed, or that I am no longer struggling as I was earlier, however, it does mean that I can literally breathe easier. It means that I can give my burden to God, and I know that he is in control, and I can trust that He will carry me through.

Life will never be perfect, it will never be easy. Jesus, in John 16:33 tells us "I have told you these things, so that in me you may have peace. In this world you will have trouble. But take heart! I have overcome the world.” What comfort I derive from this verse. I am humbled by this verse. When I first read this verse, it made me stop and take a look at what was troubling me, and let me tell you, when I compared that to what Jesus suffered just so that we may have life, it suddenly seemed like the most insignificant issue. Jesus Died. Died! I may be hurting, but I am alive. No pain I will experience can come close to what he endured on the cross, but that isn't even the best part. He defeated death. Let me say that again;

HE. DEFEATED. DEATH.

He rose three days later and claimed victory. It is so beautiful. He is telling us in John 16:33 that because he rose, because he conquered death, that we can have peace when we trust him because he has already overcome our troubles. He is bigger than what is holding us down, and we can have rest in what is says in James 1:12, "blessed is the one who perseveres under trial because, having stood the test, that person will receive the crown of life that the Lord has promised to those who love him."

When you go through the fire, when you feel as if there is nothing left in you, when you start to feel hopeless, remember that God is right there with you, that he is growing you, shaping you. Rest in the knowledge that he has claimed victory over this earth, and victory over your circumstance! Draw peace from his everlasting love and mercy. Claim John 16:33! Claim James 1:2-3! Claim James 1:12! Your troubles will not disappear in an instant, but there is comfort in the Lord. He is just waiting for you to accept it!